“Kindness is tenderness. Kindness is love, but perhaps greater than love. Kindness is good will. Kindness says, I want you to be happy.”
Flexibility and Kindness
What are the two most important qualities in a marriage? There are so many answers to this question, but the one I find the best seems to be the most simple (and often one of the most challenging – that’s usually how it goes, isn’t it?).
According to the Relate Insititute: “In research with couples the higher levels of kindness and flexibility, the higher the levels of effective communication and positive conflict resolution. Perceptions of partner’s kindness and flexibility are particularly important for predicting couples’ relationship quality.” page 3
In other words when treat each other kindly and are willing to bend a little, this way and that way, we communicate better and deal with conflict better. When we communicate better and deal with conflict positively it opens doors to deeper, happier and more meaningful relationships.
That doesn’t sound too bad to me.
Don’t be a dream-crusher
I remember listening to a talk on cd once (I can’t remember the speaker or the name of the talk – only that the name “Lund” sounds familar). Just know this isn’t mine 
But he said something I will never forget: “Wives, don’t be a dream-crusher. The world crushes enough dreams. Don’t let those crushed dreams come from you.”
It is apart of my nature to think realistically, plan for what we can obtain, reach for that and try not to to want too much. But sometimes I need to change that. I love the idea of being a strong supporter of my husband and his dreams, to be his #1 cheerleader. I don’t understand my husband’s dreams sometimes. They just don’t make sense to me, but I am trying my best to support him to achieve them. He is happier because of it and so am I.
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Achieving the goal
My husband and I just achieved a hard earned goal. I’m going to share it with you right now:
See that? That is my credit card account with a 0.00 balance! His shows the same thing! We are out of debt. Such a wonderful feeling.
And you know what else is wonderful? The process of setting and achieving a goal with my husband. Communication opened between us. As we talked a lot about the getting out of debt it lead to discussions of what to do with our money when we get to keep it, we talked about our dreams and more things that we want to accomplish together.
Getting out of debt not only helped us out finanically, but it’s helped us to unite and come together, to be a team and develop more companionship. And that is a great feeling.
Love is a verb that can’t stand up on it’s own
One thing I noticed in reading the Family Proclamation was that love was mentioned five times and never on it’s own, it is always coupled with another word to complete it. It made me realize that while the greatest thing in the world is love and while we all want to be loved, love doesn’t exist in isolation. There must be another element combined with it to allow it to be sustained, to grow, to bloom into something even more beautiful.
In the Proclamation love is combined with: care, righteousness, serve, forgiveness, respect, compassion, work, etc . . .
Love is beautiful and love is more beautiful when we act.
What are some other things love needs to last?
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For the next little while I want to focus on how we treat one another in marriage and families.
All facets of life are enriched
“All facets of life are enriched when we choose the natural family as the fundamental unit of society. Our social life is richer – we experience broad diversity within the context of stable familiarity. Our cultural life is richer – we are better able to take advantage of generational experiences and lessons of tradition. Our political life is richer – strong, autonomous families maximize the best functions of democracy. Our economic life is richer – we work with lasting purpose, cooperatively and altruistically, for others and not just for ourselves. And our spiritual life is richer – we are motivated to become our better selves as we give birth and nurturing to the rising generations.
The natural family is the key to the fullness of life. It does what no other organizing principle can do — it makes everything around it better, it amplifies the best elements of all other institutions. It is the foundation of ordered liberty.”
svedipie
shaynajo1984
